Scott Hollifield: Canada wins race to the top (to develop glow-in-the-dark...
In the global race to develop a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur quarter, the United States has been defeated by its bitter enemy, Canada.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Unhandyman's blues -- no restroom for the weary
I loathe the women’s restroom with every fiber of my being. It exists for no other purpose than to torment me.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Town for sale? Toomsboro, Ga., meet your new overlord
Dear citizens of Toomsboro, Ga.,
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Toxic teenage perfume not such a bad problem to have
The kid is 16 now. She’s more young lady than kid. But, like most daddies, I know I will continue to see the kid in there until the day comes when I finally close my eyes and see what else the universe...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: In hindsight, butt-shaping shoes don't work
There are no magical butt-shaping shoes.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: What will a fake, online girlfriend do for $5? You'd be...
How much does a fake, online girlfriend cost?
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Elvis' crypt may soon be home sweet home
On June 23, Elvis Presley’s original crypt at Forest Hill Cemetery in Memphis, Tenn. goes on the auction block with a starting bid of $100,000.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Small-town newspaper man's lessons learned in 25 years
I recently marked my 25th year as a small-town newspaper man.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: What the $%#? Town outlaws cussing -- sort of
The good people of Middleborough, Mass. have a message for all the potty mouths: stay the $%# out of our town.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Taking a hike? Easy. Taking a photo? Not so much
I hope my poor photography skills didn’t dampen a young family’s weekend trek into the scenic wilderness, but it’s possible they did.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Animals conspire to destroy American economy
Animals want to keep humans out of work in an effort to destroy the American economy, and I have solid proof that it is a major conspiracy involving a wide variety of species.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Off the wall and into a sticky situation
It was a lesson I had to learn twice: putting stickers – especially dozens and dozens of stickers – on a bedroom wall is a bad idea.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Citizen-journalists come to rescue of Monkey Action News Team
Thank you, kind readers. Many of you are now honorary members of the Monkey Action News Team. (Send a check or money order for $39.99 to receive your official honorary membership card.)
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Time to stop the monkey business
The recent monkey-on-the-loose story had a happy ending… sort of.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Clearly, my super-vision has blurred
Father Time snuck up behind me, hit me with a hammer and stole my super-vision.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Congress stays busy going postal
In the last 18 months, the 112th Congress has been busy getting things done.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Q&A for the curious about Curiosity
Curiosity, the compact car-sized, roaming, robotic laboratory that traveled millions of miles and successfully touched down on the surface of Mars, is now traversing that barren landscape, sending back...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Even more questions to avoid during a job interview
As a nationally known career counselor, I was intrigued by an Aug. 14 LiveScience.com article headlined “10 Questions You Shouldn’t Ask on a Job Interview.”
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Driving Lesson IV -- The Big Day
Slightly less than two years after she first climbed behind the wheel of my truck and inched her way as a cautious 14-year-old down the same gravel road where I learned to drive, our now 16-year-old...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: $200 later, your baby still can't read
Sorry, parents and grandparents who shelled out $200 so Junior could sit on his potty and enjoy the Wall Street Journal, but your baby can’t read worth a hoot.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Bear facts -- Ahpun best choice for zoo president
This election may be the most important in our nation’s history, and I implore everyone to make an informed decision for the sake of our children, our grandchildren and their illegitimate cousins.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: How's it going? I'm still not quite sure
For the second time in two weeks, I didn’t learn how it was going. I only got the dead-eyed, slack-jawed stare.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: When all else fails, it's hammer time
Here’s my philosophy: When all else fails, hit it with a hammer.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Global bacon crisis averted -- maybe
Our long, pork-flavored global nightmare is over, even before it started.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Stranger gets a side order of hillbilly crazy
I was certain the stranger sitting next to me at the pub was an employee of the Centers for Disease Control, in our small town conducting a national health survey — something that has sparked no small...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Tender loving care comes in a casserole dish
Friends and family are determined we won’t go hungry. So determined I’ve adjusted my belt, and my loose britches aren’t as loose as they were a couple of weeks ago.
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Low on earnings list, Einstein needs celebrity makeover
Poor Albert Einstein. Even though anyone with an iPad and $9.99 can look at chunks of his brain online, six dead celebrities made more money than the father of modern physics pulled in over the last 12...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: A little help for those hard-working politicians
No one wants to give a concession speech, yet half the candidates will do just that, whether it is a short list of thank-yous to a small room of disappointed supporters or a long-winded televised...
View ArticleScott Hollifield: Serving up justice, family style
In Cleveland, a judge ordered a woman who drove on a sidewalk past a stopped school bus to wear a sign publicly declaring her “an idiot.”
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